Moving forward after bullying

Moving forward after being bullied is extremely difficult. It will take persistence and determination to ride through the emotional pain.

Whoever came up with the phrase ‘sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me,’ has obviously never been bullied.

Bullying begins when the perpetrator intentionally creates a dominance bond with the victim. A cold demeanour from the bully, along with chronic harassment, will ultimately impact the victim’s self – esteem, and overall productivity. The bully’s critical view of the victim calls for the victim to reassess their value, and to question their self – worth.

For children being bullied, it often becomes a question of ‘what did I do to draw attention to myself? And what is wrong with me?’  rather than ‘What is wrong with the bully?’

The biggest breakthrough for children when having come into contact with a bully, is when they realise that the bully bullied them because the bully is a troubled child (”Healing the shame that binds you ). Up until the bullied child comes to this conclusion, recovery can be difficult, yet not impossible.

How can children recover from the effects of bullying?

  • Counselling
  • Changing schools
  • Accepting that the bully is troubled
  • Make like-minded friends within a group setting (groups of children often deter bullying)
  • Learn techniques which empower the child to continue on, standing tall
  • Find new ways to handle the bullying effectively
  • By talking about the bullying with understanding friends, family and the school councillor


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