Dating and relationships after leaving a psychopath

 

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Everything is always your fault! Confrontations with this man or woman always leave your head swirling around for days at a time. The reason behind your argument, along with the contents, are often forgotten after you’ re either threatened with fists, raged at, or  the argument is turned back around to you.

The light must always shine on you, and never ever on them.

You have married yourself a psychopath!

You walk on eggshells, your disputes are never resolved, and they quite often end in your psychopath  raging. Your anxiety is eating you alive. You are always being accused of being the crazy one; and this relationship just makes you feel so damn bad about yourself.

So, you dive headfirst into therapy to sort yourself out. You are sure things will improve between you both once you get help.

Psychopaths put a lot of effort into destroying their victims! The games begin shortly after the love – bombing and adoration phase has been and gone.

A psychopath will subtly begin what is understood as the devaluation phase. Before you know it, this nut case will have whittled away at your self-esteem, just like a termite slowly ploughs through an entire house.

Than they will move into your social network, and find fault with each and every friend or family member.

Victims of psychopathy usually end up completely isolated, with nobody to turn to other than the psychopath.

Once psychopaths are finished with their victim,  the victim’s self-esteem will have completely diminished. He or she will be completely destroyed from the years of mental abuse, mind games, and manipulation.

Psychopaths can only have dominant relationships. They must have complete control over their partner at all times – because in their mind the victim is not a separate being with individual thoughts, beliefs, and opinions. They are instead merely an extension of the psychopath.

A psychopath will pick his or her victim’s entire personality to pieces. The victim will most likely begin to feel as though they always make the wrong choice, always say the wrong thing, and stand up for themselves when they should just sit down and shut up.

If the victim has a problem with someone, the psychopath will always take the other person’s side. Psychopaths and narcissists must be in a position of superiority above their partner at all times.

The victim must never disagree with the psychopath’s  opinions or decisions. If the psychopath is questioned, or asked to make some simple changes to improve their behaviour, the victim will be accused of criticising, controlling, or oppressing the psychopath.

Somehow the psychopath always evades responsibility, manipulates their way out of dicey situations, and convinces everyone around them that their actions, no matter how violent, were justifiable. Before you know it, he or she will have you convinced that we all get pushed to our limits sometimes.

The victim must always remember that the rules are constantly changing. There are rules for the victim, and rules for the psychopath. The psychopath can change the rules at anytime, and the rules are never in the victim’s favour. Rule number one is that the victim must always appear crazy.

A psychopathic male or female will convince the children that everything is always the other parent’s fault. They will even have the immediate family convinced that the victim has behavioural issues, and problems with anger management.

The psychopath will set the victim  up to fail in front of people, and will push the victim’s buttons until they explode. Before the victim knows it, they will  feel like everyone is against them. They are! The psychopath got in first, played the victim, and told everyone that his or her partner is the nutty one.

Victims of psychopathy often think

”if I could just pull myself together and behave appropriately, our relationship would be fine.”

Gas lighting is the most common way to erode a person’s reality. This is where the psychopath will hide things, and tell the victim that they lost them. Or, they must have put them somewhere else. Or, instead of admitting that they are an hour late, the victim will be told that they got the time wrong, not the psychopath.

This is one dangerous human being! Psychopaths control all of the information in family units.  They are the puppet masters. They turn siblings against siblings, and children against the other parent. They are the creators of chaos where there once was none.

They are often your petty hustler, guru, fault finder, pathological liar, ex – husband or wife who sits quite comfortably on the spectrum of psychopathy. Most likely they exude extreme charm, kindness and charisma.

Survivors of psychopathy often feel anxious, disgusting and shaky. They can endure extreme panic attacks, paranoia and depression.

Keep in mind that once away from the psychopath, many victims of psychopathy do go on to live fulfilling lives. Victims do move onto happier, healthier, more stable partnerships.  Happiness does come again!

However, some victims have been so traumatised that they may never enter a relationship again. For these men or women, the mere thought of a relationship can cause heart palpitations. Thoughts of intimacy, giving their heart to another, and trusting another person with their mental health, are thoughts these people would rather not have.

However, once you’ve been with a psychopath, you do become an expert in your field. You will know red flags to look out for. If it seems too good to be true, than it is. If your body is telling you something is wrong, listen to your gut and walk away.

Is your new partner is grandiose, have few friends, a lack of empathy, possible drug history, and behave like a guru? Are  they self-indulgent, have  a history of failed relationships, put others down all the time, and assure you that all of their exes are crazy?

Keep your eyes wide open! Wider than ever before. I don’t believe that wolves have taken over the entire forest. However, I do know that psychopaths target people with particular traits. If you’ve attracted one before, you could easily be a target for a psychopath, narcissist, or sociopath again. If something feels wrong, run!

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