Narcissistic abuse awareness day is a global online event which occurs every year on June the 1st. This worldwide event began in 2016 in an effort to spread the word about narcissistic abuse, an underacknowledged form of psychological abuse which leaves the victim in despair. The day has finally come where people are telling it how it is and shining a light on the narcissist’s vile behaviour. Finally, the millions of people affected globally by narcissistic abuse syndrome, Complex-PTSD, and other mental health issues are standing up and saying enough is enough.
As a scapegoated adult child, I need this day. This is my day of recognition for the loss of the confident self I was born with because of narcissistic abuse; a form of abuse aimed at completely mentally disabling a scapegoated victim for the purposes of control. The narcissistically abused child is damaged beyond belief for the rest of their life. They may never have the opportunities that children not narcissistically abused will have. They will never know what it is to have a healthy psyche, and they will never know what it is like to belong to a loving family. Scapegoated children often end up family-less full of hurt and shame, anxiety and depression.
Narcissistically abused children are ripped off! These abuse survivors have been frightened into submission, live with levels of fear that most people don’t understand, have lost their voices, their right to an autonomous sense of self, and their ability to assert their rights and needs. Life is very unnerving for the narcissistically abused person. Children of narcissists are held back in life’s race because of what their parent stole from them. They may face issues with self-medication, self-harm, eating disorders, relationship issues, and anxiety disorders. They may also struggle with interpersonal relationships and exhibit attachment issues. It often takes decades to recover from the lifelong effects of narcissistic abuse. Some people never recover.
Narcissistic abuse can ruin someone’s life. Scapegoated children are set up from birth to go from scapegoating situation to scapegoating situation throughout their lifetime. They tend to form relationships with friends who will scapegoat them, partners who will scapegoat them, and often end up being scapegoated and bullied in the work-place. The scapegoated child is an easy target for a bully. They often lack confidence and come across as afraid and a complete pushover.
Scapegoated children go through extreme mental anguish because they were born into a role, instead of a loving family. I believed the narcissistic projections bestowed upon me, and I have had to fight like hell against those narcissistic projections. I can’t even describe the intensity of narcissistic projections and what it is like to have to convince yourself as a teenager that you are ok, and you are not the bad person you are being told you are. The narcissistic parent imagines up a version of their scapegoat child that isn’t real and sells the story to the child, and those around the child. This fulfils the narcissist’s agenda and leaves the child in a state of despair, sometimes even suicidal.
I have had to be own support, my own parent, and my biggest fan. Small children being projected onto can spend decades ruminating over the lies told to themselves; believing them wholeheartedly, until of course, they find out their parent is a narcissist. Some victims of narcissistic abuse never find out their parent is a narcissist, or don’t find out until their fifties or sixties. That is a long time to be unaware that this was never your fault.
Scapegoated children spend their entire childhoods wondering why their parent hates them and is intent on turning their siblings against them. Narcissistic projections eat away at people’s souls, make them fell unworthy of friendship, of love, or of support. In a child’s mind it doesn’t matter how much other people tell them they are a great child, they’ll never believe it if their parent has convinced them otherwise. It can take years and years of therapy and recovery to come to a place where a scapegoated child of a narcissist can feel safe enough to function in the world properly. It is hard to feel safe in the world if you weren’t safe in childhood.
The frightening reality of narcissistic abuse is most narcissistically dangerous individuals can seem like some of the quietest, sweetest individuals one could meet. A covert narcissist can be very difficult to detect because their abuse is often disguised as concern. They have the ability to disable a person’s entire sense of self without the victim even realising what is happening. These people rip through families, smashing them apart with a smile on their face, calm as day, destroying each and every one of their children without their children even noticing.
The more knowledgeable people are about the emotionally crippling effects of narcissistic abuse, then the more easily they will be able to spot the warning signs early and potentially save themselves, or their children from a pathological person. I personally believe the early warning signs of narcissism should be taught in schools, to all lawyers, judges, and social workers. I would hope that one day lawyers, and councillors who don’t specialise in narcissistic abuse are given compulsory training on how to detect a charming sociopath. This could save the mental health of many small children who are drowning in a sea of mental anguish at the hands of a sociopathic parent who has the capacity to charm everybody around them while getting away with destroying a family through triangulation, and divide and conquer.
Very few people know what it is like to be narcissistically abused. Most people don’t know what you’re talking about when you try to describe it. This leaves victims very isolated, and often finding solitude in narcissistic abuse forums.
Men and women fighting in court to keep their children safe from a narcissistic ex often feel like they’re hitting their head up against a brick when they try to explain to lawyers, judges and psychologists why their ex, whom they have very little evidence against, is too psychologically dangerous to be around the children.
The courts do not provide enough protection for children of narcissists. A parent trying to stop one of their children being scapegoated by a narcissistic ex-husband or wife has no leg to stand on. As long as the narcissistic parent has a good job, has no history of violence, or physical neglect, and is fairly responsible, then in a court of law, the parent is seen as fit. Fully fledged narcissistic abuse has gone unrecognised in the family court for being the serious form of irreversible abuse that it is.
There are no laws against mind games, namecalling, and projection of all of a narcissist’s disowned parts onto somebody else. There is no law against psychological abuse. We need to raise awareness about NPD so as people can pick it as soon as they meet a narcissistic personality type, and remove themselves before its too late. One person can destroy an entire family. The damage done to one generation will impact the next generation and the generation after that. Unfortunately, narcissism can breed narcissism, and generations upon generations of families can be affected.
Registration is now open for the 2018 Survivor Empowerment Telesummit, hosted by World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day (WNAAD). There will be some fantastic speakers which include industry experts, mental health practitioners, and my favourite narcissistic abuse specialist, Melanie Tonia Evans. You can reserve your free spot to listen for free to a panel of 15 speakers speaking in honour of narcissistic abuse awareness day over a two day period, from June 1st to June 2nd at this link www.wnaad.com/survivor-empowerment-telesummit-2018/.