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Daily Archives: July 13, 2016

Single mothers: to date again, or not?

The idea of dating makes many single mothers feel sick to their stomach. The mere thought of allowing another man to come into what is now a harmonious life, makes these women feel terrified, and often unlikely to date for quite a while.

It can take years to battle for some single mothers to battle through the overwhelming feelings of loneliness, sadness, grief, regret, and loss, and to finally come to a place of joy and happiness, after having come out of a relationship.

While many single mothers like to talk to men, and hang out with them, feelings of attraction can be a big turn off. Lets face it; too many relationships where single mothers try to integrate another man other than the father into the children’s lives often turn pear – shaped. No-one wants their children to go through anymore grief unnecessarily.

Some of the women among us have a track record of choosing badly when it comes to men. A lot of them are empaths, and therefore, attract the worst of the bunch, while other women simply keep hitting the repeat button, and end up repeating the trauma from their own childhoods over and over again. No wonder they’ve given up and have decided to raise their children on their own.

As far as many single mothers are concerned, they would rather remain a spinster for the rest of time, than put their children through the ramifications of another bad choice made by their mumma.

I guess the decision to date again or not is more about:

  • Where are the children up-to? Can they handle a new person coming into their life at this point in time?
  • Are the children still grieving the relationship breakdown between their mother and father?
  • Are you ready? Have you grieved the relationship breakdown?
  • Have you dated the person you are about to bring into your life? And do you know them well enough?
  • What’s is your love interests previous history? Are they good with children?
  • What is your over- all assessment of your own situation? Is this doable at moment, or is it too hard at this point in time?

What can traumatised single mothers do to help themselves emotionally before getting back in the dating game:

  • See a councillor
  • chase up the resources available to you
  • work hard on changing beliefs about self
  • don’t jump into another relationship without putting a lot of thought into every aspect of the entire situation